O time, the keeper of all your days

rough draft

for BMO


You watch her sleep,
you want to see her
feel her slowing breath
against  your neck, want her

otherness to rise bold, brilliant
out of the mirage of so many mirrors,
to see her rise like a white city from

the ashes of all the unfulfilled dreams
of every lover before you, who tried
and were turned back
with callused hands.


lying there
you want her otherness to be nothing
more than her otherness

You want that of her

you cannot reach and rejoice
in the attempt and the failure


Watching her sleep
you do not think of the distance
between you

nor hear the insistent knock
O time; the keeper of all your days
before her  the keeper of the years

between you

You remember that day you wanted
to recast the days of your life
before her – with her.

not much of a man who would

trade away with a thought
all that has brought you here

even to this moment .


O the long Diaspora
of your days before this moment

the myriad of steps
towards her

With each one you have left
small cracks

on sidewalks
of strange cities, wandering

patiently towards
Her, all before even her first



Watching her sleep
you ignore the insistent
knocking at the front door

because when you are with her

all things are possible
and you lie there counting
time like a god


a thousand days
become one day
that you leap across

into dreaming



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